Separation

Upon my bed at night I sought him
Whom my soul loves; I sought him, but found him not;
I called him, but he gave no answer.
I will rise now and go about the city,
In the streets and in the squares;
I will seek him whom my soul loves.
I sought him, but found him not.
The sentinels found me, as they went about in the city.
Have you seen him whom my soul loves?
Scarcely had I passed them,
When I found him whom my soul loves.
I held him, and would not let him go
Until I brought him into my mother's house,
And into the chamber of her that conceived me.
I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
By the gazelles or the wild does:
Do not stir up or awaken love until it is ready!
(Song of Songs 3:1-5)



Because Of my selfish desire to keep him to myself it resulted in my beloved withholding the sensing of His presence.
I sought after Him upon my bed,taking my ease, hoping and praying He would return.
Then I decided to go out into the city and look for him.
I looked for Him in all the familiar places, bible studies, conventions, prayer meetings, He´s Here, and he´s there.
I followed them all, but could not find Him

I went to the watchmen; after all they were the intercessors.
They could pray for me and give me direction and lead me to whom my soul loves. Instead they were cruel to me.
They started accusing me, asking me what I did wrong.
How did I sin to turn Him away from me? I even inquired of the prophets for they heard from God!

When i went a little ways past them( my soul, emotions and senses) i found Him whom my soul Loves.
As I realized how one-side our relationship was, that i wanted Him all to myself , how I enjoyed the feelings and emotions of fellow shipping with Him
I realized the need for a deeper work in me to walk in the spirit and not in the flesh.

In my quest for knowing more about Him, I allowed my soul to dominate my spirit.
As faith rose up in me I saw clearly that He drew me, He Loved me before i even knew him, he bought me with a price i couldn't´t pay.
He robe of righteousness and covered my shame: took mercy on me in all my sin and ignorance and gave me to change,
to grow, to allow faith to raise in my heart to look into his face and see how I have grown.